酸了就要倒吊

Until the end of the world

Haven't seen you in quite a while
I was down the hold just passing time
Last time we met was a low-lit room
We were as close together as a bride and groom
We ate the food, we drank the wine
Everybody having a good time
Except you
You were talking about the end of the world

十年前聽U2的Until the end of the world，還是在溫德斯電影配樂的卡帶裡，當時沒有看過這部電影。吉他風馳電掣，遠方天際銀灰巨雲翻騰，滯重肉體在速度中飛逝，汗珠蒸散成追逐的快感。年輕臂膀舉起，敞開腋窩，面對整個世界，迎風略略畏怯地冒出溼涼疙瘩。但她沒有懷疑，未來將與某人並肩狂飆，令人暈眩地欺盜時間，直到世界末日。

十年高速風暴襲捲而過，她仍待在原地，像一具被颶風刮得兜轉的人型模特兒，下身固著在不鏽鋼底座上，膠凍嘴唇無聲開啟，失去了言語能力。曾有一陣子她也努力模仿一種腔調，換個環境又要學習另一種，自覺像個蹩腳配音員或輾轉流離於各個工作間的難民。夜晚學童生澀的直笛練習，下午趔趄跌撞的鋼琴曲，早晨抖擻的電鑽聲，穿透公寓牢籠，他人生活成為沉悶囚居的配樂。

夜半無聲時，嗅著頭皮親切的油脂味，往日風景如封在玻璃內的水銀流滅不明，一切都有些模糊，有些混沌，而想到十年前那首歌後半段歌詞，她忽然再分不清，那是男人吟誦的禱詞，還是酒後胡亂哼唱的醉語。

In my dream I was drowning my sorrows
But my sorrows they learned to swim
Surrounding me, going down on me
Spilling over the brim
In waves of regret, waves of joy
I reached out for the one I tried to destroy
You, you said you’d wait until the end of the world.