Yiling 的 文學．廚房

Julie sent me an email, "My roommates and I are doing a reading of the Vagina Monologues on Thursday February 14 at 8pm. I know that it is Valentines day and all, but might I just say that this would be a wonderful event for a date"

Cannot believe that this is the first Valentine's Day invitation that I've ever had.

When I was about to drive out of the garage, my dad came back from work asking me where I was heading.

"To join the vagina monologues reading." I answered, however, without fully confidence, since I had no idea what it would be like.

"What?" My dad didn't know the word, so I translated the exact word in Chinese to him.

"WHAT?!" astonished with a bit worries that his unmarried daughter might have been single for too long, and starts to have strange friends having weird activities....

10 minutes later, I was driving on the highway toward Oakland. The I-880 was quilted with so many headlights brightening up the night.

Julie and her roommates organized such an event to celebrate the V-day, a movement to end violence toward women. See, Valentine's Day can be such a meaningful day that you don't have to be pathetic just because no one gives you chocolates or roses. You can celebrate this day just because you are a woman who is so lucky being away from violence and capable to help other women by understanding them.

"The Vagina Monologues" is a book written by Eve Ensler, who had interviewed 200 women and wrote down what they had talked about their experiences with vaginas. Then she started to perform it as a monologue telling stories about different vaginas, and it went popular in New York and further to the world. Tonight Julie and other 5 marvelous girls simply recited the different chapters of the book, but their natural acting and vivid voice were so amusing that brought us so much fun. The cozy living room was full of people, men and women; we did have a great time.

Vagina, something you would never pick up during a casual conversation. I felt embarrassed to even think about it. And it is also true that I never look down to search for it. The only time I had my vagina exposed to another person other than my mom was a female gynecologist. I was lying down on a bed with my legs spread out. It was cold, and a bit windy down there. The time seemed endless while waiting for the doctor came in to take a look at me. She came, wore rubber gloves, and bent a little bit forward to check it out. Without even touching it, she threw away the gloves, not too much facial expression, and gave me the prescription. I felt extremely uncomfortable when walking out of her office. I didn't want to look up because I thought that everyone in the hospital were guessing that what disgraced disease I might be carrying. That was years ago, when the lesbian issues had brought the public's attention, and the feminism started to grow like flowers blooming in the spring. And you still don't use such opening like, "How's your vagina doing today?"

Now those girls are talking about their vaginas, their smells, even the hair and all kinds of stories associated with vaginas in front of EVERYBODY.

How dare they are, and how much FUN is that!!

However, I am here talking about it openly and fearless. It doesn't mean that I will either go forward to learn some masturbation skills to satisfy personal needs as they describe in those magazines. Or start with the so-called "Sex Liberation." Not like that. It is the notion of being a woman that somehow frees myself. Knowing that I can look at it without feeling embarrassed or ashamed, I can truly embrace my vagina, or, the real ME, and be more confident in whatever I am doing. The pursuit to freedom thus can be found as a whole through this self-awareness. Oh! I should thank my vagina that is quietly doing the job down there, finally I've learned that how beautiful I am.

You may think I am crazy, well, I don't really care what you are thinking about me or other women who are having their vagina monologues.

I am proud of who I was, who I AM, and who I will become.

Such a glorious V-Day!

註：這一篇寫於2002年2月14日，紀錄我與 V-Day 的第一次接觸。Julie和我仍時有連絡，她目前在波士頓唸碩士，主修心理諮商。