靜止的哀愁

醉
也兩個多星期沒碰酒了
不過多喝了幾杯
酒量不錯的我
竟也有醺醺的感覺
突然間
霎時間
覺得自己所背負的壓力好大好大
我夠格嗎?
聽著 America所唱的歌
不自覺的眼淚就這樣掉了下來
外表開朗活潑的我
與內在的我
究竟要如何去區隔呢?
剛又收到了美利堅大學的 admission
突然間無所適從起來
煩躁不安
但是又充斥著失落的情緒
覺得自己似乎獲得了很多
似乎很幸福
似乎有其他人希冀需求卻沒有的
但卻又似乎什麼都沒有
渴望有人抱著我
聽我訴說內心的話
我
擁有什麼
但卻失去了什麼
我
究竟
究竟
這是國中的回憶了吧
聽著這首歌
總會不自覺的掉下眼淚
我很幸福
我有許多朋友
我有別人看似美好的前程
但我想要的究竟是什麼
悶
酒
真的是讓人情緒發酵的工具
痛苦
空
我好寂寞
鬱
.....................................

America--- I Need You

We used to laugh
We used to cry
We used to bow our heads then
Wonder why
But now you're gone
I guess I'll carry on
And make the best of what you've left to me
Left to me, left to me

I need you
Like the flower needs the rain
You know, I need you
Guess I'll start it all again
You know, I need you
Like the winter needs the spring
You know I need you
I need you

And every day
I'd laugh the hours away
Just knowing you were thinking of me
Then it came
That I was put to blame
For every story told about me
About me, about me

I need you
Like the flower needs the rain
You know, I need you
Guess I'll start it all again
You know, I need you
Like the winter needs the spring
You know I need you
I need you, I need you