眉毛抽筋-耳朵站立

The unforgiven

Thu, 14 Sep 2006 11:34:16 +0800

在憤青時代，聽音樂是聽爽的。

一直到後來，慢慢的才開始去體會歌詞的內容意境。

Metallica 1991年的黑色專輯The unforgiven給我很深的衝擊，在我腦袋翻滾。當然其它首歌也很好聽，但對這首特別有感覺。覺得是一首很sad和dark的歌。當我看到the unforgiven的音樂錄影帶後，只感覺到荒蕪。無法用言語文字可以形容那種感覺，那是我無法探索的禁地。也許曾經存在，也許不真實，就像我來到空無一人的深山中，一片盡是白茫茫的濃霧，呼喊我卻又吞咬我的心臟。

不過卻越來越想知道這首歌在講什麼。等我看完之後覺得很沉重，這是怎麼樣的人生？一個新生命來到這世界，他被迫同化進入一個社會秩序，他們剝奪他的想法，不能表達自我，只能照他們說的去做，一直一直受到壓迫。不斷地內心交戰，卻沒有辦法戰勝，直到死才是解脫。喪失太多，在心裡挖掘人們無法到達的洞，鮮血流盡，一切都太遲了，空氣一點也不新鮮了。

即使你有一雙翅膀、二雙翅膀，想飛上天空，無奈卻怎麼也飛不起來。因為太沉重了，腳上綁了石頭，只能往下墜......

現實往往就是如此殘酷。每次聽到James唱著：What I've felt what I've known never shined through in what I've shown......似乎絕望、無力了感到疲倦，尖銳鋒利的樹枝，卡在我的喉嚨，痛楚卻無處躲藏。

不能擁有自己的標籤，只有他們能給你標籤，也許有人覺得這首歌憤世忌俗，不過我不這麼認為，這世界有太多是無法理解的。素還真說過：如果不能改變環境，就去適應環境......但我疑惑了......理想和現實好像往往背道而馳......到底要如何才能證明自己的存在感？生命的意義？我只能說，the unforgiven裡的世界是我自己極少接觸的，有太多謎團、不明白......

至少，希望我死的時候不是帶著遺憾走的。

後來，the unforgiven有續集the unforgiven ll ，帶著疑問的語氣唱這首歌。當James唱著are you unforgiven too？有點諷刺。

以前在玩電玩暗黑破壞神時，音樂總讓我想到the unforgiven的前奏，像是清新的民謠。暗黑破壞神還挺好玩的，改天再來複習一下唄。

The unforgiven

The unforgiven ll
The unforgiven
new blood joins this earth
And quikly he's subdued
Through constant pain disgrace
The young boy learns their rules

With time the child draws in
This whipping boy done wrong
Deprived of all his thoughts
The young man struggles on and on he's known
A vow unto his own
That never from this day
His will they'll take away

What i've felt
What i've known
Never shined through in what i've shown
Never be
Never see
Won't see what might have been

What i've felt
What i've known
Never shined through in what i've shown
Never free
Never me
So i dub the unforgiven

They dedicate their lives
To running all of his
He tries to please them all
This bitter man he is
Throughout his life the same
He's battled constantly
This fight he cannot win
A tired man they see no longer cares
The old man then prepares
To die regretfully
That old man here is me

What i've felt
What i've known
Never shined through in what i've shown
Never be
Never see
Won't see what might have been

What i've felt
What i've known
Never shined through in what i've shown
Never free
Never me
So i dub the unforgiven

You labeled me
I'll label you
So i dub the unforgiven

坂本龍一

Sat, 02 Sep 2006 02:16:19 +0800

在聽坂本龍一的音樂。

他是我欣賞的日本音樂創作者之ㄧ，尤其他的電影配樂十分符合電影情節內容。而且有東方的味道。

第一次聽到他的音樂，是電影俘虜，日本導演大島渚的作品，內容我已經有點忘記了，哈哈......不過裡面有一幕David Bowie在牢裡的畫面，他的姿態我一直記得。放空，也許是超脫，爭取自己的生命力。

俘虜的配樂我總會想到防空洞，外面的世界一陣混亂，丕哩啪啦，在防空洞裡解開纏腳的破布。我喜歡這歌名，Forbidden colours，人是不是要有挖掘的精神？探索人性的最深處，必須放開心胸，尋求真實的需要，而不是壓抑自己。

後來聽了末代皇帝電影配樂，他的音樂總能和電影融成一起。其實沒看過這部電影，所以聽音樂然後想像畫面。有一首我老是會想到溥儀，也許還年輕的時候，一直在奔跑。一片白茫茫的雪地，有一顆蛋在雪地上，那是大雪地裡的一個小點，也許蛋裡的生物想破殼而出，也許他只想待在蛋裡。一切都有可能。

音樂必須發自內心，必須用力呼吸，不只音樂，其他創作也是。是熱情，打造整個宇宙。

White Shadows

Fri, 01 Sep 2006 20:00:56 +0800

I listened to Coldplay's song "White shadows".
Then i cried.
I felt something ever losing.
Sometimes for the lost i try to grapple,but i can't replace.
Matter influence my soul step by step.
Anxious and bewildered surround me.
I will try to break through and cure my soul.
I find myself still softly searching for my place.

White Shadows Coldplay

When I was a young boy
I tried to listen
And I want to feel like that
Little white shadows
Blink and miss them
Part of a system I am

If you ever feel like
something missing
Things you'll never understand
Little white shadows
Sparkle and glisten
Part of a system plan

All the noise I'm waking up
All the space I'm taking up
ALL this suund is breaking up
oooohh....

Maybe you'll get what you wanted
Maybe you'll stumble upon it
Everything you ever wanted
In a permanent state
Maybe you'll know when you've seen it
Maybe if you say it, you'll mean it
And when you find it you'll keep it
In a permanent state a permanent state

When I was a young boy
I tried to listen
Don't you want to feel like that?
You're part of the human race
All of the stars and the outer space
Part of the system I am I am

All the noise I'm waking up
All the space I'm taking up
I cannot hear you’re breaking up
oooohh....

Maybe you'll get what you wanted
Maybe you'll stumble upon it
Everything you ever wanted
In a permanent state
Maybe you'll know when you've seen it
Maybe if you say it, you'll mean it
Maybe you'll find you’re completed
In a permanent state a permanent state..

Swim out on a sea of faces
The tide of the human races
An answer now is what I need
See it in a new sun rise and see it
Breaking on your horizon
Come on love
Stay with me