爵士狗汪汪叫

傳了一張CHE揮棒的照片給個球隊學弟，學弟說：〔卡斯楚（Fidel Castro）還打過小聯盟，真不知道如果當時他上了大聯盟，世界現在變成怎樣？〕，這種〔如果，不知會如何〕的問題是有點意思，當然，不會有答案，但在這個題目上，恐怕連如果的前題，都有點問題。

我的意思是，卡斯楚是喜愛運動沒錯，也打過棒球和籃球（參見Full Cast and Crew for 100 Years of Olympic Glory (1996) (TV)），推廣國家棒球隊不遺餘力，讓紅色閃電雄霸一時，但他真的打過小聯盟嗎？

根據翻查了一些資料庫，我並沒有找到卡斯楚在小聯盟的攻守資料，以現在能找到的資料，最常見的是：他在古巴唸大學時曾有美國球團（或者說是洋基隊或者說是巨人隊）去測試，但沒有用他，也有說法是他去參加了華盛頓參議員隊的測試但沒有被接受。到這裡，恐怕卡斯楚是連小聯盟都沒打的了，更進一步，這些傳說中的測試是否存在？

耶魯大學教授Roberto González Echevarría在他的著作《The Pride of Havana: A History of Cuban Baseball》中有以下的文字：

I have written a book that I hope will correct some of the views Americans and others have of Cuban baseball. To me, the most vexing example of how lightly and condescendingly the history of Latin baseball is dealt with in the United States involves a story about Fidel Castro that I would like to set straight here once and for all. Every time I mentioned that I was writing a book about Cuban baseball, the first thing Americans said had to do with Fidel's (which is how we Cubans call him, never "Castro") alleged prowess in the sport, and the irony that, had he been signed by the Senators or the Giants, there would have been no Cuban Revolution. The whole thing is a fabrication by an American journalist whose name is now lost, and it is never told in Cuba because everyone would know it to be false. Let it be known here that Fidel Castro was never scouted by any major-league team, and is not known to have enjoyed the kind of success in baseball that could have brought a scout's attention to him. In a country where sports coverage was broad and thorough, in a city such as Havana with a half-dozen major newspapers (plus dozens of minor ones) and with organized leagues at all levels, there is no record that Fidel Castro ever played, much less starred, on any team. No one has produced even one team picture with Fidel Castro in it. I have found the box score of an intramural game played between the Law and the Business Schools at the University of Havana where a certain F. Castro pitched and lost, 5-4, in late November 1946; this is likely to be the only published box score in which the future dictator appears (El Mundo, November 28, 1946). Cubans know that Fidel Castro was no ballplayer, though he dressed himself in the uniform of a spurious, tongue-in-cheek team called Barbudos (Bearded Ones) after he came to power in 1959 and played a few exhibition games. There was no doubt then about his making any team in Cuba. Given a whole country to toy with, Fidel Castro realized the dream of most middle-aged Cuban men by pulling on a uniform and "playing" a few innings.

由此觀之，卡斯楚最多是大學時法律系的投手，曾經投了一場5-4的敗投，這個〔小聯盟傳說〕，根本是美國人發明出來自慰的。他們保護不了他們的走狗政權，他們出兵豬玀灣失利，他們在冷戰局勢裡竟然對他們後門的這個共產小島國無能為力，於是他們創造一個傳說來收編卡斯楚：〔如果他那時投入了我國的職業運動，就不會去搞什麼革命了，可惜他打得不夠好啊〕，而且很好玩的是要讓卡斯楚變成〔Yankee〕或是〔Senator〕，這種吃吃政敵軟豆腐的傳說，說得輕易，也有心理療效，遂在美國不逕而走。

說起卡斯楚，無論帶領革命、豬玀灣的勝利，或者日後統治古巴多年，能談的正面反面應有一大卡車，有沒有打過小聯盟，原本不重要。台灣，當然很多方面，包括棒球，都算被美國直接或間接殖民，但對這種美國人自慰的傳說，或者，就別理他了吧。