{SWING}

you can say i fuck it up
i dont mind because it looks like it

i dont need to persuade someone because i'm not going to change my mind without any support.
The only thing i need to make sure is myself.
either way, i have to struggle
i will still feel painful during this period
even more, maybe
but dont try to tell me i'm doing wrong
because if i'm gonna to believe you
i'm not going to make it really right
are you trying to make me fail?
are you trying to make me normal?
i'm not
and i'm not you
you and most of people may choose the same thing
but see what did i done when i try to choose the same thing
it never works for me

there is no right way or wrong way
at least not for me
there is only effective way
and what is my effective way to achieve things?
happy
keep in faith of myself

i'm not going to be an accountant
even i'm
there are still a lot of way to achieve it
I may sound stupid
but did you ever succeed of telling me what to do?
i never really do what you want actually
and every time, when i try to do that
i always fail.

i believe my decision is right
yours is also right
but not suitable for me
i just gonna to do it in my way
i'm sorry if it means selfish
but i dont care if i'm selfish
i have to survive
in my way

i'm sorry if i let anyone down
but i feel more sorry about myself if i let myself down
i got friends
they may as stupid as i'm
but what they say is not wrong
and those are exactly what i want to do
i just afraid if i'm gonna to do that
i have to carry more sin on my shoulder
but that is the way to grow up, right?

I didnt succeed last time
not because i made a wrong choice
it is because I became lazy and i didn't did what i promise
the wrong thing is i didnt keep my goal
because i know there is somewhere i can go back
and i became careless
i gave myself excuse to be lazy
i'm alone
that is really easy to become lazy
above all, the choice itself still fine, i just lost my chance last time

am i going to fail and lose another chance this time
it depends on me
you can not guide me or teach me
because i can always find a way to escape if i dont want to do that
if it is wat i want to do
i will do it, and do it well, you know that
i just need to keep the through in my mind.
this is wat i want, and i want to do that. everything is gonna to come true in my way.
so, the best thing you can do for me is to cheer me up
tell me i can
tell me that it'll be the most wonderful thing to do
makes me believe
don't make me wondering
you know how much i get confuse when people try to confuse me
help me to believe myself
dont tell me i can not achieve it
it is horrible to tell someone that "are you sure you can do that?"
wat the fuck
i can fail 100 times but i just need to succeed 1 time
isn't that a good reason to run for?

to be safe in 100 times cant compare to succeed just in 1 time
to experiment 100 times, then i will get something wonderful
even i cant get anything wonderful
at least i learned
to do the safe thing for 100 times
after 100 times
i will only know 1 way to live my life
because i never try other ways
in this case, 100 times equal 1 time
it means nothing

dear my friends
my protector
my mental supporter
send me free
i want to explore my possibility
i dont satisfy in this cage
do try to keep me the cage
i will be a fish that can't swim

i'm not going to be miserable
who told you that?
it doesn't mean it is bad just because you are not familiar with
yes, maybe after 10 years i will find out that i'm just a ordinary person
i try and maybe i'm not the one who can be the millionaire
but if i never try to be one
how can i have chance to be one
i'm not going to be poor or something
i'm not those extreme artist
i have plan to feed me if i cant be the best
so dont worry about me
have some faith on me
are you going to tell me my fail history?
hahaha
don't you think i learn something after that?
maybe not that much
because if i survive at that time, maybe i'm more strong now
but i'm going to be fail
don't think that way
that's stupid!!!!

i'm trying to persuade you
actually i'm also trying to persuade myself
i need confidence
i think it is the most useful thing you can give me
dont try to look me down by telling me what is the safest way
i'm not satisfy with safe life
my goal is to create
to survive in this world with my creation
i already find what i want
and i believe i have to do some revolution to make it become more realism
i have to fight for myself
dont try to fight for me or worse, try to protect me
i wont know how to fly as a bird
if you try to protect me
it will lose the meaning to have wings

fly and dead
it is better for me
to stay in my nest and feel comfortable and wait for death
sounds good
but a little bit boring for me

see you.
my friend
my supporter
my teacher