虹在天涯 在寂寞行星的浪跡

The Longest Day: 09/11/2001
最長的一天　─ 紀念九一一

Originally Written in 9/2001

I am very touched by the e-mails and phone calls from many of you. I am still alive and not harmed by the horrible attack on the World Trade Center this past Tuesday. Though I still feel slightly mentally traumatized at this moment.

I usually interm at the DOH twice a week, mostly on Monday and Wednesday. My office is at the corner of Broadway and Leonard Street, which is about 10 blocks north of the World Trade Center (WTC was on Church Street, one block west of Broadway). On Tuesday, I work in Brooklyn and usually have a weekly meeting with my boss.

I really don't know what I was thinking that day. I rarely get into my Brooklyn office before 10:00 am. On this past Tuesday, I took G subway train from my residence in Elmhurst, Queens to Fort Greene, Brooklyn, to change to another subway line (usually 2 or 5) to Flatbush, where my office is located. G train is the only line in New York that doesn't get into Manhattan (It goes only from Queens to Brooklyn) and rush hour on G has never been as crowded as other New York subway trains. On that 40 minutes ride, I had already heard that a plane slamming into World Trade Center. I was slightly scared but did not think too much about it. Then I heard there were two hitting both towers. A man even started to yell crazily that nobody cares, this city is all fucked up, blah, blah, blah.

After I got out of at Fort Greene and walked to Atlantic Avenue station (possibly the largest in Brooklyn, with more than 10 lines converging there), I saw there was very huge dark cloud of smoke drifting out of Lower Manhattan. I found the situation is more serious than I thought. On the road, I heard another plane crashed into Pentagon outside of Washington, DC. I should have just gone home at this moment. But I still plan to go to my office because I had a meeting with my boss.

The whole Atlantic Avenue station was shut down. I tried to take bus to get to Flatbush. The traffic was so jammed that buses just couldn't move. I heard people, just escaping from Lower Manhattan, talking about how horrible it was when they saw people jumping out of Twin Towers to their death. It sent chills to my spine. I should have just got off the bus and gone home.

Well, I did get out the bus but I chose to walk to my office (What was I thinking?). It is about 3 to 5 kilometers' walk, I guess. Along the way, more horror stories unfolded: The planes crashed were not just small planes (I thought they are small planes), but jetliners with many passengers, then I heard the towers collapsed. The first part of the walk was fine since I passed Park Slope, one of the most exclusive and expensive neighborhoods of Brooklyn. Then after passing the Prospect Park (Central Park of Brooklyn, as they say), I got into Flatbush, which definitely not as 'desirable' as Park Slope, or even Fort Greene. I planned to take another bus to get directly to the entrance of the building I work at. I was already late. I tried to call my boss, but the line was so busy that I couldn't got through. I did find a message left by my father. He saw the news back in Taiwan and he was very, very concerned. Ironically, he got to see those horrible images at dinner table even before I had any chance to see any image of this incident myself. I tried to call my mother but I just couldn't get through the busy signals. It must be very chaotic out there and all the phone circuits were busy.

Finally I made it through to tell my mother everything was okay and I was on my way to my office. The bus still didn't show up, I should have chosen to go home now. But how? Isn't it closer to walk to my office now? Thus, I chose to walk across many blocks in Flatbush, alone, to reach my office. What was I thinking?

Then I was robbed, at gunpoint, by two thugs, right under daylight, two blocks from my office. And merely two hours after the World Trade Center was crashed. And this is the first time I was robbed, after I've been living in the US for several years, and after I have lived in such crime-ridden city such as Baltimore and Washington, DC, and after they said the crime rates in New York has gone down 8 years in a row. Then I found, the spot I was robbed is the block I walk on most often after I got out of the subway station. It was not the unfamiliar part of Flatbush where I got robbed, instead, it is the block I am most familiar with.

Now I feel vulnerable.

In fact, I lost only $17. They didn't even bother to take away my credit card. I was so tired after the long walk and I just tried to walk away from the crime scene. I felt exhausted, frustrated, and angry. But for the most parts, I feel confused. I wonder, why this happened in this already horrible day. Then I felt even angrier.

Has the terrorist attack also brought out the evil people among New Yorkers?

As it unfolded, this terrorist attack is much more serious than I imagined. Possibly more than 6000 people were killed and tens of thousands wounded. Many subway lines have been closed, flights were grounded. All New Yorkers are affected; most Americans are affected and many people outside of this country are also touched. There has not been any looting or serious robbery arising yet in New York. New Yorkers have shown their compassion for each other and help each other out. Maybe I was just plain unlucky since I might have been the only guy 'looted'.

Maybe I am lucky. Because I wasn't physically harmed by the robbers at all. I only lost 17 dollars. My co-workers (whom I used to complain as ‘distant’) gave a lot of emotional support. Watching TV news, seeing those who have lost their life, lost their family and friends, or extremely traumatized by the escape process, I feel I am lucky. I did have a new friend who worked on 78th floor of Tower One. She was just reaching the elevator, waiting to going up, when the first plane hit. She escaped unharmed. She was lucky.

Of course, this week has been a very, very tough week for me. The difficult transportation situation as aftermath of the attack; loss of sense of security makes me take a long route to get to my Brooklyn office; a very important trip to Atlanta was canceled (since nobody could really fly out of New York); nobody cared about a presentation that I had prepared with very a lot of work (few people were in mood in any work anyway); and I might end up homeless again in October. Maybe the word "lucky" is just inapplicable to me at all. It is very difficult to cheer up with so many troubles surrounding me.

I know those troubles will not go away in a day or two, but the World Trade Center have gone. In fact, they were gone in 100 minutes.

I returned to Manhattan later on that very same day of 9/11 (and managed not to get robbed twice in a day), after hiding in my office by myself for another few hours. I couldn't leave because I didn't know when the subway would run again and I didn't want to walk on the streets of Flatbush. Finally after changing four different buses and train lines, F brought me to West 4 Street Station in Greenwich Village. I should have remained on the train and it would take me back to Queens, but I decided to got out of the train, to see what the streets of Manhattan had become, 10 hours after the attack.

Getting out of the Station, I was immediately on the 6th Avenue.

I remember, 6th Avenue has always been my favorite avenue. It was easy to orient yourself on this street because looking south, the twin towers of World Trade Center standing tall and glistening, while turning around and looking north, the spike of Empire State Building so visibly shining.

Now I look south, there is only a huge chunk of smoke. Something very significant is missing: the Twin Towers. But that is not the only thing gone. Other things have changed: I might not want to fly as often I have in the past years; I might not want to work in any high-rise building in the future; and I might not want to walk in most parts of Brooklyn anymore. Besides the disappeared Twin Towers, many things in my life, including the sense of security, just won't be there anymore. I started to feel very, very sad.

Finishing a bagel I got from a nearby deli, it was almost dark. I had to go home now (didn't want to be robbed again). Walking back to the subway station, I turned around. Then I saw the Empire State Building, still elegantly standing there. Now the Twin Tower are gone, once again, the Empire State Building is the tallest building in New York City.

It's truly a blessing to be the survivor.