虹在天涯 在寂寞行星的浪跡

The Real New Millennium
真千禧

originally written on 01/01/2001
原寫於2001年1月1日

This new day began with a "01/01/01" shown on my cell phone and computer.

Outside my bedroom window, the accumulated snow from a blizzard two days ago doesn't seem to go away. The temperature will be in high 20 degrees (-1 C to-5 C) for next few days, so those piles of snow won't go anywhere for a while. It is so beautiful to see everything surrounding me covered by powdery white color. Even piles of garbage bags on the roadside (a lot of them in New York) don't look that annoying as usual. A song by Stella Chang (張清芳) "The Snow Fall too Early" (雪下得太?shy;) suddenly popped up into my mind. "Snow is the tears that heaven sheds for broken-hearted people, it just cover up all their wounds so perfectly." Maybe this is a good sign to end my year 2000.

2000, indeed, was the worst year ever in my life.

An extremely painful visa problem, an uncertain job situation, two rejected journal papers, five failed submission for literature awards, and a very uninteresting trip to a supposedly very intriguing country. People said it was the Millennium Year (a fake one though), and people said it was "The Year of Golden Dragon" (in Chinese lunar calendar). For me, it was a year of failed promises and broken dreams. I used to think 1999 was the worst year in my life, but then 2000 just yook over the honor.

Though finally I was able to start a new job and relocate to the city I always wanted to live for the past few years. The bitterness and uncertainty remains... The current housing situation is unsatisfactory and it took really long for me to catch up with my new job. But I know I will be productive in my work again.

I spent the last day of 2000 wandering around New York, alone. I suddenly felt like to see the Ocean, so I went to Brighton Beach, Brooklyn to see the Atlantic. The sand dune was also covered by a lot of snow and made it very hard to walk along. It was okay for me, I get used to challenge and now I should get used to all types of difficult paths in life. Looking west, I witnessed the last sunset of 20th Century. It was possibly the most beautiful sunset I've ever seen. Cold air seems to make the sky bluer.

In the evening, I went to a private party, watching the Big New Year's Eve Countdown in the Times Square on TV. I was there last year but just couldn't get much closer into Times Square. A first major failure of my 2000. This year, I would plan things not as inaccessible. Also I was told, only tourists go to Times Square for the Countdown, real New Yorkers don't do that. This time around, I am a New Yorker.

Before the stroke of midnight approached, I pondered "All the bitterness will eventually pass. My heart will go on." "Tomorrow is another day, tomorrow is also another year, another century, and another millenium. Things should be different. If they aren't, I will make them different." I told myself as the new year resolution.

Finally, tomorrow is today.

Happy New Year and welcome to 21st Century.