December 16,2005
安子＿老夫子精選集＿35
老夫子求愛－情場如戰場
「香口膠」登場以來，讀者來信或在網路上回應，讓安子覺得很高興呢！好了，廢話不多說，這集請看很浪漫、有玩樂、 也驚險刺激的「老夫子求愛記」！
戰術一：兒戲求愛，捲土重來
戰術說明：
失敗不氣餒，遭拒不知恥，永遠還有下一次。求愛時宜配合歌舞，不但可儲備體力以供下回求愛之需，亦可增添娛樂性，自娛娛人。
實際效果：
說老實話效果不大！老夫子
戰術二：浪漫情歌，感人至深
戰術說明： 配備吉他，耐心等待心上人出現在窗台，立即抓好時機，獻唱一曲，抱得美人歸。
但請學習此招之人小心躲避從上空襲擊的掉落物。
實際效果：
有時候這招會有效，但大部分的時候老夫子都在對付兩個大敵：「花盆」和「冷氣機」！要是老夫子唱得不好，音準有如魔音穿腦，就得小心美人「花盆以報（不是報答的報，是報復的報！）」，搞得情場如戰場；而有一回情歌攻勢真的奏效，老夫子本想隔日再重施故技，美人的窗前卻裝了冷氣機！
戰術三：共赴情場，教學相長
戰術說明：
右手高舉捧花，左手撫住胸口，左膝著地，右腳微彎，求愛萬用姿勢，切記要大聲喊出肉麻情話。
若配合道具上的變化組合（見「實際效果」說明），可收驚人的成效。
實際效果：
此招為經典中的經典，且有多種變化組合：遇到搖頭族吸毒人士，可將捧花改為大麻，保證奏效；又如害怕失敗時可準備手槍，以「你不答應我就讓（你）我死吧！」作為威脅（真是可怕，此危險動作，切勿模仿！）。
結論：
不過，有一回老夫子傾囊相授，教導大番薯求愛技巧，但大番薯竟把「妳愛我嗎？嫁給我吧！」
說成「妳愛我媽嫁給我爸」！可見，求愛招式並不是每個人都學得來，有些肉麻話一般人還真的說不出口呢！
但是，被老夫子耳濡目染後「習慣成自然」，相信有朝一日你也會練就出，「妳是我的靈魂、妳是我的生命」掛在嘴邊的超強功力！
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安子寫得真好！
Posted by 老夫子迷
at December 17,2005 21:48
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