loveless

Depeche Mode-A Question Of Lust

Fragile
Like a baby in your arms
Be gentle with me
I'd never willingly
Do you harm

Apologies
Are all you ever seem to get from me
But just like a child
You make me smile
When you care for me
And you know...

It's a question of lust
It's a question of trust
It's a question of not letting
What we've built up
Crumble to dust
It is all of these things and more
That keep us together

Independence
Is still important for us though (we realise)
It's easy to make
The stupid mistake
Of letting go (do you know what I mean)

My weakness
You know each and every one (it frightens me)
But I need to drink
More than you seem to think
Before I'm anyone's
And you know...

It's a question of lust
It's a question of trust
It's a question of not letting
What we've built up
Crumble to dust
It is all of these things and more
That keep us together

Kiss me goodbye
When I'm on my own
But you know that I'd
Rather be home

It's a question of lust
It's a question of trust
It's a question of not letting
What we've built up
Crumble to dust
It is all of these things and more
That keep us together

很不幸的最近糟透了,就在我要回歸大學生活的前一個半月.再度地失戀,工作碰到瓶頸,人際關係似乎也比我想像地複雜很多,幾乎沒有一件事情是順心如意的.

有些時候,衰事總是接踵而來.由於身為獨子,從小到大幾乎都是孤獨的成分居多,所以對於男女之情總有著些許的期待:我希望我能盡我的全力為對方付出,不過,在這個充滿不信任感的年代,過多的奉獻好像讓人難以承受,搖滾精神表淺的標籤和符號貼在身上,總是讓我看起來"不像"是那種從一而終的人,我接受,不過我必須說,我的"奢望"也只有那麼一點點,就是能得到需要的關心而已.

隨著情感不順遂,引起我對人生或者自我存在價值的懷疑:我強烈懷疑我玩搖滾樂是不是對的一件事情,或許我當初沒玩搖滾樂現在就不是這樣子了,但是誰知道那樣又是如何?對一個書念不多的人又沒事幹的人來說,只能把所有心思寄情於鍾愛的音樂上,但,以自我意識為中心的堅持是否正確?這樣的堅持會讓未來的我能更快樂,抑或是永遠像陷入泥沼般無法移動?甚至更消極一點地想:所謂的"未來"到底在哪裡?想想這些問題也是無解的,像無止境的迴圈一般跟人格緊緊相扣,總是得活到最後一秒才知道解答在哪,然而在這過程的等待也許是不必要的.

我又抽完一包菸了,看來似乎應該找點正經事情來做才是.