傷口保鮮機

don't call me that, i'm nothing of that sort, don't burden me with that responsibility, just let me obtain the knowledge, i don't want that name, i just want to learn, without becoming learned, just let me listen and watch in my silence, don't label me with your expectations, i only want to know, don't sting me with what you think i am.

        有泥，有水，有人影，有天空，腳就一步步把這些踩過，高美溼地的印象，濕潤地存留在記憶底層，不時翻倒出來晾曬，以免發黴。
        人與人之間，能藉著一份記憶承載多少情感供時間稀釋?
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see how the wall bleeds its tears
fountains of youth and decay
are you still afraid of touching me now
transfixed by the ephemeral beauty
blottings bruises glorious constructional sunsets
mortar and cement
white washes and cheap hideaways
see how the surface you call skin peels so readily
do you tear at the scabs with relish
none of the pain when wet
memories from sprouting spores
packing scrunching ignoring the scent
hesitating to caress
the crumbling implications that
rub away in streaks layered by layer
skin on skin and
surface by surface
once initiated refuses to taper away

我在這座高峰上和我自願的囚徒展開對話
我責備她而她聳肩
亦或她歇斯底里地反擊
但因為空氣過於稀薄
最後總是無疾而終
她質問我那些無法用表格量化的習題
那些找不到清單條列的層級
事實上她與我的絕裂
並不稀奇
我們是窠臼裡的窠臼
而我們精疲力盡後還是得
小心翼翼地平衡
不願承認誰征服了誰
只能說
目前是誰包裝著誰
誰牽引著誰
誰先睜開眼睛諒解了誰

為甚麼這些不能兼得人不能切割不能一次愛多於一個
為甚麼你總是要用自身實驗終究是從錯誤中學習總是不肯聽勸
為甚麼這些抉擇這麼重或這麼輕
為甚麼反覆不定

stranded on my island again
sugar high
tired of
lopsided inititive
why now
why this
why you
why am i always waiting
my powers of knowledge are
useless now
crumbled by acts not belonging
to the right senses
the smell of sun
pineapples boiling
or the sound of
rustle of shadows
that chain of chords refusing
to strain from theinnerear
imagined unfulfilled too much
to pour but none to hold
words
words implode
this
this inner cyclone