全部列癲 │ Harry Wu

英國台灣協會在Russel Square的二二八紀念會上放了綠光為公共電視拍的《傷痕二二八》劇情紀錄片。

第一次在國外參加這樣的活動，原本以為會相當盛大，結果跟馬英九來倫敦演講比起來，規模小了許多。

有別於以往的紀念方式，台灣協會很謹慎地取得公開播送這支片子的執照，想要以「還原真相」的方式，讓大家更了解什麼叫做二二八，去親近這段被歷史。畢竟有很多人來了國外才知道這個事件。

這支片子在出國前，就已經在公共電視看過。當時的感觸不深，也許是因為期待它被拍得更「史詩」。但是昨天在會場卻看得涕淚縱橫，我旁邊的大頭睿也是一樣。情緒的交雜有很多原因，一是聽到在台北的室友謝一麟旁白的聲音；二是看到了老妹的學弟，在聖誕節氣喘亡故之前的身影；三是久沒有接觸充滿情緒的台灣新聞節目，平鋪直敘的演繹方式，讓我出奇地專注，竟然把自己拉入了那個被遺忘的時代。

很多人會後討論「到底劇情有百分之幾」符合史實？對我而言，真相並不是重點。真相以何種方式被傳達出來，才是有意思的事。「別人的痛苦，為什麼我們要跟著流淚？」接續之前朋友的留言，他說：「當事件被捲入時間洪流成為歷史」，其實還有更多：「當歷史被捲入時間成為記憶」、「當記憶被捲入認知成為我們揮之不去的陰影」......

真正摧枯拉朽的其實我們心裡創造出來的現實。英國心理分析家比雍說：「嬰孩感到飢餓的痛苦，不是因為缺少了供給奶水的乳房（客體的原型），而是因為出現了猛烈攻擊的客體。」真相離我們已遠，然而心靈裡的現實卻像陰魂一樣主宰著我們的自由意志。

白色恐怖讓我的家庭排斥政治。父親跟我都因此而從醫，難道不是這隻名為「超我」的猛鬼作祟？若拿最簡單的例子講；「土台客！」、「外省豬！」，我們總是拿自己心裡面的鬼去打那人頭上的另一隻鬼。何時了了？

讓人欣慰的是，會場裡充滿了一股成熟的情緒。有爭辯，但是沒有激烈的言辭。也許是因為人不多，也許是因為政治色彩均一。但是既然是我們的集體記憶，身為型構認同的一份子，希望往後的活動，社團可以聯合舉辦，讓所有的人都牢記著這段冤錯。二二八不再屬於某個政黨的二二八，不再屬於某個明星候選人的二二八。二二八不再屬於單單你，或單單我的時候，就屬於：我們。

Long time ago, people told me that Cou is the most beautiful aboriginal tribe in Taiwan. The first time I heard them singing was in a small gig in Taipei. I was astonished by it's being so 'Japanese'. It was a song called 'Rose Periwinkle' written by a Cou musician, Gao Yi Sheng, Yata Issei, Uyongu E Yatauyungana.

Nobody told me that Gao's songs were actually dug out gradually. Those beautiful melodies were actually dyed with blood stains. What we learned from reality: there must be injury before achieving beauty. Half century ago, a song dedicated to Gao's wife was written in Japanese, "あー麗しい，フロソクスの花よ。君に捧げろ，山タを越えて。" (Ah, beautiful rose periwinkle, let me dedicate it to you, and let's conquer every mountain! ) After 228 incident, Gao was arrested by National Government and then put to death at last. Behind the bars, he still continued creating. During past 50 years of dumbness under martial law and so-called 'white terror', Taiwanese people were brainwashed, and their memories were repressed. 'Unwilling to tell' became the consensus willing amongst people. When reading those letters written in prison by Gao Yi Sheng, one can immediately feel those raw and unbearable emotions conveyed through words. However if you look at his songs, most of the lyrics are brief and condensed. Is it due to song writer's literature discipline? Or did he miss anything on specific purpose? What did he want to emphasize amongst the lines of beauty? ...繼續閱讀

This song is based on a record of oral history. In my theory, the creation of art-forms is a practical way of peacemaking.


(picture was taken on the way to campus. On that day, it rained.)

The day it rained, the weather turned cold abruptly. Water was not abundant anymore, nor beautiful were the rice flowers. It was the end of tobacco leaves' season. I was planning to grow rice. I was longing for the coming of peaceful days.

It was not the sunset yet. But I could barely see the ridge of my rice fields, finding no place to nestle. Suddenly I fell in to a dike, on the day it rained, when rain dampened the road lamps. My cigarette was still burning, how come this evening passed far sooner than before?

Wasn't it a dream? If yes why couldn't I wake up? I saw those hoes become arms, rivers become turbid, tobacco leaves were dyed red. And chickens and birds could not escape in time, either.

Since the day, the moon stays still. No matter how the wind blows, how the rain pours, I stand by the sky, waiting together with you.

I have forgotten what tobacco smelled like. I seem to smell the fragrance of your cooking.
However I cannot stretch my legs, nor can I open my eyes. Please do not panic for me. Here under the dike I have many companions. Whenever you are not able to fall asleep, please remember that I will go back and watch you......

in memory of 228 massacre.
lyrics: Bichhin Lu
Song and translation: Harry Wu

Click 繼續閱讀 to listen to the song. ...繼續閱讀