「

這是我偷來的時間。

可是時間沒有意義，這條雙行線上再沒什麼有意義的東西。



我想要告訴你一個沒有意義的故事。



但心裡一無以名狀的聲音反覆敲鳴，



它說：

『拜託你不要走。拜託你，不要離開我。』


拜託季節不要凋逝。


拜託年歲不要乍然耗盡。


我拜託你不要，不要離開我。
                                                                 」

<習作 拾>




...繼續閱讀

i never know. ...繼續閱讀

<習作八>



i dreamt of voices.






...繼續閱讀

I thought I was gonna puke when flipping through the pages of that enormous dictionary.


a real dictionary.


when was the last time I used a decent paperback dictionary?








All that I am, all that I ever was.








Odorless time flows into the ditch. 

It goes fetid.








And you try to trick me into believing nothing ever dies.



I die.



The fervor dies.








The notion of something destined to diminish lies like a wart on the the back of my hand.





You die, and I die too.




All that I am, all that I ever was.

<習作七>




     The moon fades. She can only see herself seem naked under the dazzling purple sky. Her skin glows like golden barley. Her head bends like a flower in bud.

     There are stars dangling from the treetops. She stands on tiptoe trying to reach them. But the tree sways each time she touches it. And this time she decides to let the stars shine forever.

     A wind suddenly blows up the lower hem of her dress, but she doesn't seem to notice. Looking faraway at the silent sea of the dark prairie, which stretches to an end she can never see, she is waiting.
 

    Finally, she hunkers down by a withered tussock, surrounding herself with her arms. The sky starts turning white. She grips her hands tightly, intensely. Nobody comes.



    There will be no one.
 
    She buries her head in the palm of her hands, starting to cry.However the sorrow is not heard. She cries alone. She cries in her loudest tone.


     "Oh, the dress," she thinks. It does not belong to her. She borrowed it from a cousin.

      The dress is pink. It's not the color she normally wears. Still, she wears it today. She put it on in the morning when feeling extremely lively, confident, and beautiful. Now she looks at her pink dress, mocking her foolishness.


      She walks a little further. The dawn is creeping behind the horizon. The surroundings is almost like it's highlighted by the upcoming sun. Nothing retreats from her eyes. She can see clearly.Everything.

      Broken twigs lie on the ground. She treads on and kicks them.

      --No more sadness. No more pain. It is my day of redemption since you don't come.


      A river streams beside the edge of the grassland. She's never been here before owing to a protective father. Then she thinks of her mother, who once told her about how pretty her hair looked when reflecting the colors around. All of the colors she loved, she has lost. Mother did not have the chance to see her grow into a courteous lady, and she feels she's been deprived of something inside of her. Something forever gone.


     She roams about in a negligent fashion. And she stops by the water. The water looks clean. She holds up a hand of water and drinks it. Tastes like sweet roses.

     She uses her left foot to touch the surface. Ripples occur.It's not cold. The water is magically warm and tender.

     Breathing in deeply, she lifts up her dress and walks into the water.


     --Feels like home.


     I am home.


     She throws away what used to abandon and downgrade her. Nothing she does satisfies everyone's need. 

     --I live for myself.

     A bird flies and rests on the top of a tree on the other side of the bank. The sun is coming out.And the water gets warmer and warmer. Clouds disperse. A sound of morning joy appears. Nonetheless, the whole area remains serene and peaceful like heaven. 

     She does not drown.

     She simply takes herself down with an image she's been chasing into the mysterious water. An image she has dreamt of at night.

     A beautiful young boy who comes to her dreams and whispers to her ears.

     --Let me be your protector. I can show you more of this world.


      His eyes are green and determined. He smells like milk added sugar. His delicacy is so feminine that she can't tell the difference. Fascinating. Breathtaking. Heartbreaking.


      She goes down to the water, sinking with mirthful hope.
     

     -- You finally come. I've been waiting for you for a hundred of nights.I devote my youth to you. 

     Before sun rises, you will become everlasting and divine.



     A bell rings afar. It's the beginning of a brand new day.

    



p.s


This is written because of the typhoon.(...) yes I mean it.
And I want her to die. Nothing cruel. Just that I thought of the scene in which Virginia Wolf died in almost the same way.(According to the description in the movie and book called The Hours.)

<習作六> ...繼續閱讀

an isolated private nation.




〈習作五〉 ...繼續閱讀

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based on nothing true. ...繼續閱讀

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Sarah said she'd never wanted to become someone else.









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