" why should we always try to defend ourselves when there's really nothing to explain about?"





=======================================

"

To the unrecognizable judges:





I'm not trying to offend anyone.


you do have a point, and I completely respect your point of view.


But now I sit in front of you and try to answer the question you've long inflicted on me.


I'm tired of feeling like a helpless loser when you talk about how things should be.


It's hard for you to understand why people like us act this way.


You know what? It is also hard for me to fully comprehend your friendly gestures,your flawless facial expression, and the way you feel about yourselves.




To me, the decision you make, or say, the perennial smiles efflorescing on your faces, is hardly understandable.


I don't want, and of course, I don't need, to be judged by the way I was born to be.

As you can see, I've never hurt anyone.


The crux of this matter here is I'm sick of feeling somewhat humiliated by your unintended (or should I say purely innocent) accusation.



Listen to me now.


I know I seem to have a glib tongue.But, I'm not yet an orator.


I do not wish to become eloquent just because I need this streak to make myself feel better.


There's no need to explain why I like to be alone.



I am a loner. Need not further confirmation.


A LONER.


Do you know how it feels to be a loner.


Are you now picturing in your head and thinking how pathetic and dull my life is.Or the person I am?

Guess what. You are wrong.


You can never ever be more incorrect in your merry and substantial life.


I am not unhappy. Repeat this after me.


I-AM-NOT-UNHAPPY.


Sure, I have my ups and downs, but that doesn't mean I'm trapped in my own little gloomy petty universe.



Actually, I have my own quirky asteroid.


We all design a special edition of life.


How do I have the power to analyze the nature of me, to you?

It is outrageous to say that I know exactly what I'm composed of.



I do not know why I'm not particularly fond of sweets.


I do not know why on earth I hate physics.


I don't know why I think some sort of fixation with making sure that every music file should be named correctly and be put into the right folder is important.



I don't know why I feel embarrased when everytime I think of the past as if it would distinctly fester me for the rest of my life.
(well, it does and it will.)





I don't know why I only like so few of the people in this world.



I don't know why I don't cry when everyone else does.




I don't know why I cry when nobody else does.


Please, my lords, my gracious judges.


You've probably already inferred from the above rubbish I told that the fact is,

I DO NOT know why I like to be alone.
 



Without any second thought, I don't try to waste my time on getting at the reason why some of you deem that being alone is what creeps do.Normalcy is being surrounded by people you know very well, people you know, people you can't care less, and who-the-hell-is-that-guy.


Or is it?


Please do me this one last favor.



Define normalcy.


Define how people sould be.


Define the features of a potential outcast.


Define you.


Define divergence.

Set a date for the end of the harmonious cosmos if divergence occurs.




I can not tell you why.

I'm unable to tell you why.

I'm lack of the knowledge and the patience to tell you exactly why.


I DON'T KNOW why.



stop pushing me.



You don't have to spare any of your time for me in order to tell me how dreadful my life is.

I'm F-I-N-E. Look, I can spell the word FINE.





Don't blame me for not being you.




I've tried really hard to consider the possibility to become like you.

And I'm not a failure because I forbore the possibility.




Don't compel me to think myself as a failure.

It's not worthwhile smashing my self-assurance.


I'm not a bad person.


You are not either.



Why don't we just put aside our differences for a while.


Let us calm down for a while.



It's not because you really want me to change into someone I'm not.


It's because you believe in yourselves so much that you don't see what's more outside your worlds.


I respect the way you choose to live.



You are full of life and fervent.


You are kind, you are undeiniably friendly.


You show it to the world that you love being around the creation we are given.


I do too. Just that I've chosen another path to walk through.


I've limped.

I've fallen.


But I'm not broken apart.




I'm as complete as you.



I show my love for life in a way you can't see right now.



I do believe we can change and sometimes there's need to change.


But you never really change what you're made of as long as you do no harm to the world.



Forget how I annoy you whenever you try to persuade me to be as happy, as glory as you are.



I'm not unhappy.Though HAPPY is not exactly the word I'll use to describe my condition.



I have my own definitions of stuff, of emotions.


As long as I don't hurt anyone.



I'll not become less successful, or whatever you call it.If I'm doing this my way.



I'll not apologize or feel bad about myself ever again.



I do not think it's reasonable to feel bad about myself just because I'm different.


Open up your mind. That's what you've always tried to teach me about.


Embrace differences.


I'm embracing the shock you gave me when I realized you literally, dominate the social norms.



Just face the music.




We are not the same. as simple as that.

"