an isolated private nation.




〈習作五〉

我希望是你聲音裡的紛紛碎甲。


我希望有生中能擁抱你。




「




適才，我盡可能地向所有人道別。




我的大腦說：你已經夠頹廢了。
別再於頹廢的漫漶時空裡不知所以地過活了。

要是抓不住自己的手，就得逕自墜落。



但我不能再望下失速而終墜毀了。





再見、再見。


我想著誰在不在乎。


但是再見、再見。


所有的人我都忘了，但是我記得和你們說聲再見。



再見我的無恥。
再見我的悔憾。

再見我的羞辱。


再見、再見我損壞的記憶。



不是再見，是別了。



我已被你感動過。




而今我離開這個境域，是帶著你的聲音、你煥赫的眸光。



別了，我始終窸窣作響的過去。」




<<<

I went with the residual sounds of your voice.

You did not stop me from falling.

So I crashed onto the floor and become

splinters of you.

I didn't try to come close to you.

I knew you'd push me away.

So I kept falling.

Tripping over those words.


I held on to each word you said.

I held on to the world.

And the world broke down faster than ever.

I'd catch your tears when they dropped.

I'd wipe off anything that stood in your way.


Those people ran past me and started to laugh.

They did not betray me.

I fooled myself.


This game was never a lie.


We seemed to belie ourselves by not knowing

whether or not we remembered one another.


I did not know the rules.

Thus goodbye my dearest,

I'd sing you a lullaby.

To you

You're just too beautiful.

I know you are,

I know you are. >>>