=====================================

based on nothing true.

Jimmy, i'm writing this to tell you why i made the decision.



i need to know i can still do this.

i haven't wanted something so bad for so long that i eventually forgot what i want.


i need to get out of there.


you've always told me about what we should fight for.

i know that.

i've known that since the day i got in.


but i'm now at an endless standstill.


i was bludgened down by the fact, the truth you once tried to warn me of.


i have nowhere else to go.so i need to tell you why i decided to go.




i go because i have to.


i want a life without the thought of not being able to change.

changing is all i asked for. even a little bit of it.


however, things stay the same.


and hell, they all started to undergo a metamorphosis into  hopelessness.


i was never a desperate person, Jimmy. and you know that.


but i just can't sit here stolid and say i'm alright.

cause i'm not.

i'm not alright.


this seemingly incessant process is giving me an overwhelming breakdown that i can hardly survive.



i'm watching myself trampled underfoot by my own history.

i'm living in sheer purgatory, Jimmy.

I can't get out.






i want to get out.


i want to prove it to you and everyone else.




it's like i was on this side of the road and you all standed on the other.



then somebody pushed me hard on and on till i fell at the kerbside.



a mammoth monstrous truck almost hit me.





i did manage to stay alive, but i'm now hanging on to each day passing by.


this can be the end if i move a step forward.






i'm now leaving.




leave for a change.




i'll write to you as always.





truthfully,

Sarah.