一座演化中的島嶼

judgment

惡意或善意，我不需要更多價值判斷。

the light of the truth

Therefore, speak to them, and hear, and believe, Since the light of the truth which requites them Does not let them trun from itself. -- Dante, Paradiso

broken

沒有錯，我是很殘破，那又怎麼樣。

a dream

好幾天了，鼻塞頭痛，喉嚨緊繃。夜裡好不容易睡著，見到了許久未曾入夢的父親。他仍舊是我記憶中的模樣，我遺傳的那雙眼睛是如此明亮。我的夢境總是體貼地，自動為我刪除他最後的病痛與垂死。母親也出現了，她帶著我從小就印象深刻的濃密秀髮，我和她像朋友般互動。而這份母女友誼，就像永存的父親，都是夢的賜予。我說，你為什麼不找他回來。她說，他已經有別人了，是一個護士。我只記得這簡短的對話。如果是護士，應該就可以好好照顧他了，是嗎？原來我還是那麼思念。醒來以後，心有點痛。

truly

「你是最真的。」

yoga

荒廢近月，今天終於去上瑜珈，像找回什麼，在身體的河流裡。

lost sex

What is certain is that today it is very difficult for women to accept at the same time their status as autonomous individuals and their womanly destiny; this is the source of the blundering and restlessness which sometimes cause them to be considered a "lost sex." -- Simone de Beauvoir

writing

被逐出神聖界之後，卑賤體開始書寫。 ── Julia Kristeva

enough

台灣社會喜歡聽女人罵女人，女人們似乎也在這樣的社會裡耳濡目染，逮到機會就可以罵得超級無敵順口。倘若上了媒體，記者順理成章扮演煽風角色，諸如「某女的友人説她是『小白兔』，您覺得呢？」，受訪的正直女性於是接話「她那款如果算『小白兔』，天下何來『純真』可言，她根本是『黃金獵犬』」之類的。有位置或自以為有位置去罵其他女人的女人們，難道真以為如此表示具備了某種更為高尚的女性特質？還有女人說人家「污辱」了香奈兒，香奈兒什麼時候變成道德品牌？有品的男人據說千萬不能打罵女人，這點倒是真的，他們只是在旁邊說些「也難怪」或「我也差點」之類的，分不清是扼腕還是慶幸。一個比一個裝靦腆。總之，套一句歌詞，「你罵的，還不夠嗎？」

wound

傷口，不會因為抹上道理而痊癒。

nothing

餵養無知的，不是無，是有，濫權的道德。

seed year

種子是最年老的，也是最年幼的。

wetlands

心裡的濕地，養出了什麼。

desires

Can our desires be so powerful that they take human forms and walk right into our life? Can this be possible? Only if you want it. -- Deepa Menta, Heaven on Earth

La Nausee

越來越知道沙特為什麼要寫「嘔吐」。

absurdities

荒謬，是常態的意識流，只是人們習於假裝。

vault of heaven

天空，勝過一切裝置。收容，無所安放的心。

Joy Division - The Eternal

Procession moves on, the shouting is over, Praise to the glory of loved ones now gone. Talking aloud as they sit round their tables, Scattering flowers washed down by the rain. Stood by the gate at the foot of the garden, Watching them pass like clouds in the sky, Try to cry out in the heat of the moment, Possessed by a fury that burns from inside. Cry like a child, though these years make me older, With children my time is so wastefully spent, A burden to keep, though their inner communion, Accept like a curse an unlucky deal. Played by the gate at the foot of the garden, My view stretches out from the fence to the wall, No words could explain, no actions determine, Just watching the trees and the leaves as they fall.

breathe deeply

Breathe deeply until it hurts.

live on

生活。出生，存活；創生，且活。

for the love of the Other

The subject exists only inasmuch as it identifies with an ideal other who is the speaking other, the other insofar as he speaks. A ghost, a symbolic formation beyond the mirror, this Other who is indeed the size of a Master, is a magnet for identification because he is neither an object of need nor one of desire. The Ego ideal includes the Ego on account of the love that this Ego has for it and thus unifies it, restrains its drives, turn it into a Subject. An Ego is a body to be put to death, or at least to be deferred, for the love of the Other and so that Myself can be. Love is a death sentence that causes me to be. When death, which is intrinsic to amorous passion, takes place in reality and carries away the body of one of the lovers, it is at its most unbearable; the surviving lover then realizes the abyss that separate the imaginary death that he experienced in his passion from the relentless reality from which love had forever set he apart: saved ... -- Julia Kristeva, Tales of Love

Roy Todd - Child of the troubles

the mythical cell

由於神話的細胞或原本具神話性的解釋細胞可以有無限多的組合和重組的方式，於是乎確保了歷史的開放性格。它昭示我們：儘管使用的是同樣的材料 ── 因為它是所有群落、氏族或宗族所共有的某種遺產 ── 還是可以成功地為每一個群落、氏族或宗族分別建構啟一套套獨具創意的描述。 ―― Claude Levi-Strauss，楊德睿譯，《神話與意義》，麥田出版

the revolutionary

What is essential in the revolutionary is not that he overturns as such; it is rather that in overturning he brings to light what is decisive and essential. -- Martin Heidegger, Nietzsche