花捲窩

Being out of place is just a feeling that comes all of a sudden, even when you are sure it’s the right time, you’re with the right people, and you are talking about the right topics. But the feeling just comes, like an unexpected guest knocking on your door, shouting, “Hey there! I’m coming in!” You didn’t have the time to drive him away; he is already sitting on the threshold, grinning.

The last time it came when I was with a friend I haven’t met for long. We were sitting under the sun, eating ice cream and I thought we were having a good time. The mosquitoes are bothering me, I had no idea how they could be so active at this time of year. I simply got bored, feeling that I didn’t belong to this conversation. But we went o talking, until each of us decided to go somewhere else.

Misplacement. Who misplaced me? I felt relaxed and cheerful then, and I had a good time with my friends, so for what reasons could I feel out of place? Maybe it’s because I had been out of touch with him for so long that we couldn’t find a ground for mutual understanding, or because he is a guy who practices break-dance, while I don't; or because we just don’t belong to each other, we simply don’t ‘click.’

3 November 2005