Silence

解剖忍的多重人格英文版－－文中有許多部份為求通順（其實是作者太笨）加上不太重要所以略過不翻。只好對外國同好說聲抱歉啦～－ｖ－

Click the fake cut below to read this article.

I appreciate Yoshihiro Togashi san's study on Sensui's DID (dissociative identity disorder, formerly named as multiple personality disorder), because how he portrays the symptoms is far beyond our stereotypes on this disorder. I must apologize first that I am not a professional; the following article is based on my personal knowledge, my own experience with this disorder, and my experience with one patient (who used to be my friend).

What Makes DID?

There are two types of DID's occurance.

Type One:
If DID occurs during the patient early childhood, the patient must have formed his personalities while undergoing prolonged and severe physical or sexual abuse as a child. Unless the child has superb observation, he could not be able to percieve other personas' existence, and vice versa. Billy in "The Mind of Billy Milligan" and my once-close schoolmate fall under this category. When they reach adulthood, there are only a few personas who know few others. Yet strangely, there is always one persona who know all others. That persona in Billy names himself "Teacher", and one of my friend's personas told me about this one, but unlike Teacher, she was "borderlized" and rarely appear.

Type Two:
If DID occurs during adolescence, when the yong man's social role and self-identification were still under establishment, there must have been something very serious that happened, and he could not cope with it even if he exhausted all his defence mechanisms. There are many types of defence mechanisms including "Denial" (telling oneself this injury never happened), "Repression" (purposedly putting the injury into the subconscious), "Projection" (telling oneself that everybody or somebody does the same anyway), "Regression" (acting as a child to get away from an injury), "Displacement" (doing something less harmful in order to let out the injury), "Dissociation" (acting as if the injury happened to someone else), "Reaction Formation" (doing something exactly the opposite to the injury or the harmful), "Rationalization" (telling oneself there is a reason to this injury, so it is normal to be injured), "Compensation" (telling oneself the world does not end because of the injury; there are always things better), and "Sublimation" (devoting oneself to religion or the like).

In other words, those young men who are used to concealing their emotions because of being exposed to environments hostile to them, may not be subjected to DID. Because inept at coping with the environment itself as they are, they may be masters employing defence mechanisms. Mentally precocious teenagers and those who have reached their twenties, when met with serious pressures or psychological injuries, may suffer other lesser types of personality disorders, but will not become a DID patient. Sensui and I fall under the second category; only Sensui's personas are more independent and established than mine.

What's the "USE" of This Persona?

No matter type one or two, the personas can be labeled as "more useful" and "less useful". Most of the personas of the second type are pretty functional; that's why it is much easier for them to be aware of other personas than type one. "Being useful" means how well a persona can function independantly, or attend to a certain function necessary for human life (such as social functions, daily functions). Since there are so many small things to deal with in life, each of the personas who are in charge of each of the functions must cooperate with each other. Minoru, Makoto and Hitoshi are highly functional personas; Naru and Kazuya are less functional; Shinobu is the original persona; the special one. George is perhaps a bit less functional than the triplet, but he does not create emotional or violent problems like Naru and Kazuya do.

As to type one, even if each persona has different characteristic, identity, awareness, even sex, age, and race, it is harder to tell which persona is in charge of what function. Therefore, before anything serious breaks out, they exist silently not knowing each other, until the balance collapses.

Still it is a bit difficult to understand what is "being useful/ functional". Let me give an example:

One day when this girl--A-- was walking down a street, she met a pervert who did something obscene to her. Now, suppose A is only 13, and she is faced with great trauma which she cannot deal with even if she applies all her defence mechanisms, therefore she "splits" into two parts, against her own will, beyond her control. The new persona happens to be functional; it is in charge of "outdoor activities". Therefore everytime she goes out, this persona would automatically take control. There is nothing she can do about this new persona, but in fact, the girl's life becomes easier, because she herself doesn't have to face the danger of meeting that pervert or being reminded of the pervert ever again.

Generally speaking, people who do not know about DID usually mistake DID patients for being too changeable to be trustworthy. A DID patient usually has only a few or no friends at all. People don't understand that it is hard for them to control who should be in charge of the reality in what time. When encountered with a certain situation, there is no way stopping another persona (who is "designed" to cope with that situation) to take control, and there is no way that persona A remembers what persona B said to a person C last week and so on.

To conclude just what DID is, let me put it this way-- it is to cut your own rotten part of soul from yourself, so as to keep your own soul less painful. But it is the suicidal defence mechanism that once begins, there is no turning back.

What Togashi san Did Not Realize...

Now we may find that Togashi san must have done his studies in order to create such a character as Sensui, but here comes another issue-- his understanding is not flawless. It is not that he has created too many personas for Sensui, but instead, in my opinion, too few. DID patients who have really severe simptons should have more than ten personas. I didn't try to find out how many are there in myself for I do not care as long as my life is ok. Billy Milligan has 24 personas, which is a fairly "normal" number. My friend had 89, most of which were formed after the point when her best friend left her. Sensui has 7, which is a bit few; in fictions or movies where the characters have only 3 or 4 personas, I daresay, those are just very light cases.

Please do not forget that a person who suffers from DID had already proved all defence mechanisms to be useless. Were the patient's trauma light enough to be dealt with, he would not have become a DID patient. Since the trauma is incurable and insoluble, the patient finds it that the only way is to surrender part of himself to escape from himself. However, one cannot totally escape from oneself, hence the only way is to escape forever. Unless you have Itsuki or a good friend keep you company, DID is eternal WAR.

There's another flaw by Togashi that's worth mentioning. The "original persona" (in Sensui's case, Shinobu) doesn't necessarily become more powerful, but in most cases the opposite, becomes mentally weaker. Take the little girl A for example. After her splitting into two personas, the original persona should be quite incapable of outdoor activities, and would be disoriented very easily when she goes out, because all information about "outdoors" has fallen into the brain area where the new persona occupies. If one day she is forced to stay in a strange place for prolonged period of time, the new persona would become more complete and independant, whereas the original one becomes weaker.

The example of girl A explains many things about type two DID. As to type one, it is very difficult to tell who might appear under what circumstances. One persona might "wake up" and finds himself in a totally strange place even country, and fall into panic.

If a new-born persona undergoes traumatic experience, such as being abused or panic-stricken, he himself is capable of splitting again, creating yet another new persona. It is like branches of a big tree that extend on and on and on... and the original persona may not realize what is going on. Such is the sad reality of Dissociative Identity Disorder.

When It Comes to Politics...

Togashi san is right about one thing-- many personas means many opinions, and many opinions means many problems; where there are problems, there are personas who group together to form parties pro or against each other, and there are also those who'd rather give up the right to be in charge of reality than mess with other guys. These quieter personas would become less functional or weaker, but they do not dissappear altogether. I cannot explain why.

For example, many years ago, when I was much more severe than I am now, the "people" in me argued about whether or not "we" should go to the hospital, because one party thought that this brain should be corrected, when another insisted that they have right to exist. As to the rest of the people (who were fewer in number), they did not consider it to be their business.

Speaking of "politics", I should talk about how I discovered my friend's other personas. One day when I escorted her to the subway, she suddenly shifted to another persona named "Feather", who at the point had no idea how she had gotten into the subway because in her knowledge she had never taken the subway before. After talking to this persona, I realized what was going on in her family. Her brother had become so violent that even her parents were unwilling to return home. Because of whole chaos her brother had brought her, the original persona grew weaker and inept. Gradually there were differences in opinion as to if they should push the original persona aside and let the "stronger" ones to be in charge. But being borderlized among 89 personas basically equals to death penalty; since there are so many people using one single brain, the darkest memories and most fearful thoughts are fallen upon those who never see the light of day. They either become autistic, perversed, or retarded. Feahter and her fellow personas did not want that to happen to the original persona. She begged me to stay in contact with her, and not to speak to any of her "enemies".

At first I thought it the strangest and most difficult task I've ever received. But later on as I became more familiar with "Feather", I found it actually very easy-- I could tell there are differences in gestures, pace, movements and so on that belong to individuals I did not know and had never met before, and I could tell Feather from others easily.

As to what had happened to my friend later-- according to another close friend of hers, there was one persona who considered studying to be the only goal of life, formerly Feather's enemy, later on became in league with her. Right now she studies in a medical graduate school and has turned into a totally different person-- who doesn't recognize me anymore.

The Bitter End

Many people may want to ask-- if a person suffers from traumas so great that he cannot cope with them with any defence mechanism, why didn't he commit suicide in the first place before he becomes a DID patient? According to my impression, those who become type two DID patients may have characteristics such as "calm and intelligent but solitude", and "disconnected from social realities during adolescence when he should establish personal identities". Committing suicide is meaningless in these intelligent people's eyes; they would find a reason to survive no matter what. Yet their goal of life certainly is not to save the world or whatever, see the example below--

Just suppose there's a girl who's not only been brutally raped, but also mutilated by the raper. Being seriously injured, she is unable to kill herself right away. If God does not appear to save her soul; if she is calm enough not to commit suicide yet not socialized enough to accept what those around her might have said to comfort her, what do you think would be the goal of her life? Certainly not to pardon the raper, get married and live happily ever after; but to treat the raper even more brutally some day, if she will be able to.

Suffering from DID is extremely bitter; sometimes I feel very sad for Sensui san.

Some think Itsuki cannot live without Sensui, yet I think perhaps it is Sensui who needs Itsuki more. DID patients may have strong hearts, but the cracks that split their souls are unrelenting. They have chosen the worst solution in order to live; in order to live they must choose the demise of their mental integrity. One may tolerate physical illness, but the cancer in the soul is the worst of all. Without Itsuki, perhaps, Sensui would not be able to be as powerful as he is.

Ruin, October 7th, 2007.