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March 31,2009

活在當下是不可能的事

告別原本的崗位，我不由得重新開始思考此時此刻應該為了什麼而前進。長期投入在工作的氛圍之中，即使不同圈圈的朋友聚會共通的話題都逐漸脫不開職場甘苦，偶爾配搭小女人的酸澀愛情。我幾乎忘了自己真實的身分還是個研究生，菸酒不離身。socially。

回顧整個三月，健康變成了重心，前陣子的病態連早上起床照鏡子都覺得害怕，牙痛、感冒、腸胃不適接踵而至，體重直落，面目可憎（也許和我不愛讀書比較有關係）。所以在這段休息的日子裡，試圖要讓生活的步調歸於常軌，最幸福的絕對是三餐正常，老媽只要一聽到我要在家吃飯，盛上桌的菜總是特別貼合我的胃，理所當然吃得多且滿足。天氣好的下午也會騎車到附近的公園晃晃，或是到學校伸展筋骨，因為百萬小學堂告訴我們，傍晚的空氣最新鮮。

但專注於健康之外，其它的衝勁好像都失去了。聽著音樂沒有反饋，看著電影卻只能覺得感動，硬碟裡永遠消化不完的實境秀和影集每週反覆播送，配著手邊同個品牌的牛奶吐司。記得有個說法是廿一天會養成一種習慣，我想我現在的確已經習慣了懶散。

儘管覺得無聊，身體倒還是誠實地停滯著。所以我需要開始建立下階段會讓我燃起衝勁的目標，像是定期寫網誌這樣小小的也行。論文除外。

說沒有任何一點後悔或遺憾是很困難的，對於自己真心喜歡卻決定要放棄的事情。彷彿也清楚反映在夢境，那些已經消失在生命裡許久的人們紛紛於虛幻的場景中再次佔據重要角色，如註定一般無法抗拒，他們正邪惡地準備要宣判什麼。譬如說：活在當下是不可能的事。

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Posted by dearjoshua at 樂多Roodo! │00:43 │回應(4) │引用(0) │JOSHUA LIVES
樂多分類：音樂 工具：編輯本文
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Dont Look Back In Anger (1995)
Oasis

Slip inside the eye of your mind
Dont you know you might find
A better place to play

You said that youve never been
But all the things that youve seen
They slowly fade away

So Ill start a revolution from my bed
cuz you said the brains I had went to my head
Step outside, summertimes in bloom
Stand up beside the fireplace
Take that look from off your face
You aint ever gonna burn my heart out

And so, sally can wait
She knows its too late as were walking on by
Her soul slides away
But dont look back in anger
I heard you say

Take me to the place where you go
Where nobody knows
If its not our day

Please dont put your life in the hands
Of a rock and roll band
throw it all away

Im gonna start a revolution from my bed
cuz you said the brains I had went to my head
Step outside, cuz summertimes in bloom
Stand up beside the fireplace
Take that look from off your face
cuz you aint ever gonna burn my heart out

And so, sally can wait
She knows its too late as shes walking on by
My soul slides away
But dont look back in anger
I heard you say

So, sally can wait
She knows its too late as were walking on by
Her soul slides away
But dont look back in anger
I heard you say

So, sally can wait
She knows its too late as shes walking on by
My soul slides away
But dont look back in anger
Dont look back in anger
I heard you say

At least not today
Posted by 裝傻 at April 3,2009 14:39
昨晚的大合唱好感動啊...。
Posted by sosick at April 5,2009 00:13

百萬小學堂真的教我們好多。

我後來覺得興趣還是不要變成工作，因為工作永遠會抹煞你的熱情。

這個道理小學生應該不懂。
Posted by Eggie at April 12,2009 11:41

百萬小學堂是優質節目啊
而且小朋友好可愛
我現在在作的事情就是重新補充我的熱情
等待還有下次機會再跳下去消磨......
哈哈哈哈哈
Posted by 裝傻 at April 12,2009 21:58


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