不辣哥的ＢＬＯＧ

昨天在國際英語演講協會講了個人第十次的演講，順利拿到Competent Communicator這個頭銜，算是滿大的突破囉！算來第九次和第十次隔了好幾個月，原本計畫要在一年內拿到頭銜的計畫也嚴重Delay，不過能夠這樣講完十次還真的滿開心的，感謝很多會友的支持和鼓勵，這一年多來真的進步超多，在演講協會內也有機會參加比賽晉級，而在青商會那邊甚至還拿到全國英文演講比賽的季軍，對英文發音很破的我來說還真是相當不容易呢！

而且練習到的這些演講技巧也讓自己在中文演說方面同樣有所進步，當然改善的空間還很多而且每次都犯類似的錯誤，不過最令人高興的是透過Toastmasters Club的演講訓練，有讓我找到自己適合的演說方式，這比那種制式化的練習法好太多了，我非常不喜歡也不適合那種動作誇張聲音高亢的演說方式，也因此從小到大參加學校的演講比賽都沒贏過，現在能夠找到自己合適的型還真的滿不錯的．

要感謝的人還滿多的，十次的演講都有得到會友很棒的講評和建議，參加比賽的期間大家更是熱心的幫我彩排和潤稿，有興趣練習英文和增進公開演說能力的人，歡迎來加入Toastmasters Club吧！

第十次演講的主題是Get Over It！主要是談自己被迫單身一年多來的感想，剛開始寫稿的時候本來覺得會是個聽來很悲慘的演講，但到後來就越變越樂觀正面，昨天上台之後台下甚至是從頭爆笑到尾，從錄音筆中聽著大家和自己的笑聲之後，發現自己真的Get Over It了，我想當一個人可以笑談過去的慘事的時候，那就是已經不再難過和在乎囉！

演講稿還滿長的，貼出來是自己想要留存，真的太無聊或是剛失戀的人再點進去"繼續閱讀"看吧 ，不過第一段我還滿喜歡的，翻譯出來給大家看．

作家Ambrose Bierce曾說"愛情是暫時性的瘋狂，而它的解藥是婚姻．"我並沒有那樣的運氣得到婚姻這種解藥來治療我曾經有過的愛情，我得到的是另一種更為強烈被稱為"分手"的藥，而它的副作用是心碎．我並不是自願吞下它，那是被強迫打了一針呀！

Good evening, Toastmasters. Writer Ambrose Bierce said, “Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.” I was not lucky to have the medicine of marriage to cure the love I had. Instead I took a stronger one called break-up with a side effect of heartbreak. Actually I didn’t take it voluntarily; it was a painful injection.

The injection happened almost two years ago. I was dumped by my girlfriend and ended a relationship of 7 years. Don’t feel sorry for me, staying with her for 7 years is already too long. Anyway, I just want to share my personal experience about how I got over it.

The first thing many people might do after break-up is to blame their selves. Was there anything I did wrong? Will it be better if I done something differently? These are really bad questions to ask. Blaming ourselves will destroy our self-confidence and make us even a worse person.

For some cases, it is possible to restore the relationship. But if the dumped one breaks down, then the chance will be slim. Therefore, try not to blame yourself and take this chance and this power to make you better and stronger. If you still love that person, he or she might be back. Even if they don’t, at least you will be more likely to be liked by others.

Other than blaming ourselves, some people might blame the one who dumped them. To me, this is also a bad move. In the worst scenario, this caused murder cases. People with hate cannot see things positively and will take even longer to get over it.

My suggestion is to talk about your sorrow and hatred. Dump those trashes to your close friends. If you don’t feel comfortable about this or you don’t have close friends, then just discuss it on the Internet.

I was pretty lucky that I had many close friends at that time. Well, I don’t if we are still close after dumping so much trash to them. Anyway, friendship is really important for people who are in bad moods. Since we are all in this lovely Toastmasters family, I believe that finding good friends won’t be an issue here. If you have anything to say, you can just come to me. I need more materials and inspirations for my next speech.

Most conversations with friends are meaningless; it was just killing your time and their patience. However, sometimes if you are lucky, you will get valuable advice that can totally change your mind. After telling my sad story, I got many stories that are much worse than mine in return. So that I knew that I am not the only poor guy and felt much better.

I even had a chance to talk with a monk. The words he gave me were so inspiring and I really want to share it with you. He said, go to your wardrobe and find a coat you didn’t wear for years. Take a good look at it and recall your feelings when you bought it. You liked it very much and wanted to wear it everyday. But now, it is still in good condition. However, you just don’t want it any more.

There are many possible reasons such as trend, the weather, or just because it is Red. But those reasons do not matter. If you can understand this kind of feeling, you will know why your love one didn’t want to be with you any more. With that understanding, you can forgive and keep going.

It was a cruel thing that you suffered, but think about that cute Teddy Bear who accompanied you for years when you were little, what have you done to Teddy? Look at my Teddy, I tried so hard to find it last night. His right eye is blind, color faded, in an old t-shirt, fortunately in a popular color.

I was so touched by those words. I felt confident again because I believe I am a good coat. Maybe not a fancy and trendy one, but definitely the one with long durability and keep people warm in a cold winter. And for my ex-girlfriend, maybe she just needs a shining colorful coat even it is made in China. Besides, you can also think it is because they get too fat and couldn’t fit it any more.

Another suggestion is to step out of your comfort zone and join activities or clubs, especially Toastmasters club. Getting new friends and taking challenging tasks can make you happy and progress. More importantly, as Gloria always said, it is also a good way to find a new lover. If you are looking for talented and attractive people, you are at the right place.

My stories and suggestions can goes on and on, but I am not going to test your patience and see if you are my close friends. Just remember, if you want to discuss about heartbreaks with me, feel free to do so any time. I can be more helpful when speak in Chinese and with free Starbucks coffee.

For people who hurt someone badly before, hope my speech can make you feel less guilty. It was not your fault, their lives might be miserable if they are still with you. You were just saving them.

And for members who didn’t dump or be dumped before. Now you know how lucky you are because you don’t need to go through this.

Last but not least, if you have similar experience like mine, hope my suggestions are helpful to you. Get over it and let’s go to Starbucks later.

Toastmaster of the evening.