午夜的天堂酒吧

感覺時間過的好快，轉眼間自己又老了一歲。

想要回顧過去一年來發生過什麼事情，腦中卻一片空白
腦海中不斷浮現的，幾乎全都是和主任間的不合
說實在的，曾經有段時間有點後悔當初辭掉辦公室的工作重執教鞭
坐辦公室雖然工作時間長，但是至少在外奔波有公務車或小黃可用
名片遞出去還有個堪稱體面的經理級頭銜
三不五時還有五星級，甚至國宴級的晚宴可以去吃
兩年前自以為瀟灑，為了要過有品質的生活，決定重回補習班教書
沒想到，和新主任間的不合讓我對工作感到灰心
當時我真的很氣我自己，如果沒換工作一切都會沒事


不過，我自己萬萬沒想到，和主任間的不合竟然成為我的動力
於是我開始尋找其他新的機會（因為本來是真的就想一直教下去）
在一次意外的場合當中，發現了一個不錯的進修機會
重新燃起了我想要出國唸書的念頭
在經過一番折騰之後，我終於申請到學校，也順利借到錢
終於在下個月就要出發前往一個陌生的城市開始新生活


對於巨蟹座的我來說，面對一個未知的改變無疑是讓我最惶恐的
從上台北唸高中開始，自己一個人在台北也住了10年多了
已經很習慣台北的生活步調，很多同事甚至都以為我是土生土長的台北人
而在台北居住的這段期間，我只搬過一次家
因為一但我安定於一個地方之後，就完全不想改變了
所以這次要離開台北，甚至說是離開台灣前往一個陌生地方生活
用「手足無措」來形容我現在的心情一點都不為過
明明再兩個星期我就要搬離開台北了
坐在房間裡我卻不想打包，真希望時間就此停止
所以我不用去面對生活中即將發生的重大改變


很多朋友都跟我說出國唸書是一個很好的經驗
我自己也相信這次的經驗將會對我有很大的幫助
無奈我這個有點愛鑽牛角尖的性格就是無法讓自己放鬆
所以依照電影女狼俱樂部的傳統，送給即將遠行的自己
點播的是Diana Ross的I Will Survive
我個人覺得Diana Ross的版本在編曲上比原曲好聽
而我也以這個部份的歌詞勉勵我自己


Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Oh no not I, I will survive
For as long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live and I've got all my love to give
I'll survive, I will survive


當然還要送上Diana Ross的I Will Survive的video
是在某Gay Pride Parade取景，還有RuPaul跨刀演出，相當值得一看！
ps. 感謝Fresh的DJ Davis在星期六的時候替我放了I Will Survive的舞曲版！



Diana Ross / I Will Survive


At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without you by my side
Then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong
And I grew strong
And I learned how to get along


And so you're back from outer space
I just walked in to find you here, with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed that stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second you'd be back to bother me


Go on now, go walk out the door
Just turn around now
'coz you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye?
Did you think I'd crumble?
Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Oh no not i, I will survive
For as long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
And I've got all my love to give
I'll survive
I will survive
Hey hey


(i, I will survive)
Hey hey
(i, I will survive)
Every day
(i, I will survive)
Oh yeah


It took all the strength I had not to fall apart
Just trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart
And I spent oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry, but now I hold my head up high
And you see me, somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person still in love with you
And so you felt like dropping in and just expect me to be free
But now I'm savin' all my lovin' for someone who's lovin' me


Go on now, go walk out the door
Just turn around now
You're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye?
Did you think I'd crumble?
Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Oh no not i, I will survive
Oh as long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
And I've got all my love to give
I'll survive
I will survive
Hey hey


Go now, go walk out the door
Just turn around now
'coz you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye?
Did you think I'd crumble?
Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Oh no not i, I will survive
Oh as long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
And I've got all my love to give
I'll survive
I will survive
I will survive


2006/06/26