瘦菊子燦爛的球季

Someone posted this: Hu is on second?

Joe Torre (Dodgers Manager): Well, Russ, it looks like Garciaparra strained his left calf again.

Russell Martin (Dodgers Catcher): What happened?

Torre: He took a step to the right.

Martin: Gosh dang it.

Torre: Watch your language. You Californians with your weird accents and worse swearing, I don't understand it.

Martin: Sorry, Coach.

Torre: Anyway, that's why Nomar had no range in Boston. Couldn't step to the right without going on the DL. He was always protecting himself. At least Jeter could dive.

Martin: I thought his wife, that soccer player, was giving him lessons.

Torre: They didn't work. So guess what? We're putting you at third base.

Martin: Me? Why? I'm a catcher.

Torre: We're out of infielders. Don't worry, it's just for one inning. Unless we score.

Martin: Aw, coach. Can't you move someone else over?

Torre: Well, you've been with the team longer than I have. Who do you think would be better?

Martin: What about Hu?

Torre: Who?

Martin: Hu.

Torre: That's what I'm asking you.

Martin: No, no. Move Hu to third.

Torre: Move who?

Martin: Yes. He's on second.

Torre: Who is on second?

Martin: Exactly.

Torre: I don't know who's on second. Been coaching so long, I don't know anyone younger than 25 or so.

Martin: That's what I'm telling you, coach. Hu's on second.

Torre: I don't know, that's what I'm asking you.

Martin: Hu.

Torre: Russ, don't make this difficult or I'll fine you.

Martin: But coach, that's why I'm telling you.

Torre: Telling me what?

Martin: Hu's on second.

Torre: I don't know.

Martin: So, move him to third.

Torre: Who?

Martin: Exactly.

Torre: Geez, Russ, you're not making any sense.

Martin: I'm trying to, coach.

Torre: You don't sound right, Russ. Stressed out or something.

Martin: I'm not, coach.

Torre: Then why are you acting so moody. Are you lonely?

Martin: Loney's at first.

Torre: Be patient, Russ, you're young. I know you'll find some one.

Martin: Find Juan?

Torre: Yeah, you'll find one.

Martin: Well, coach, he's playing in the field now.

Torre: I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe, another one?

Martin: There's only Juan, coach.

Torre: I'm sure you'll find another one.

Martin: Coach, Juan's in left.

Torre: Some one left you? Is that why you're lonely?

Martin: No, no, coach. It's real simple. I am Russ, Juan in left, Loney at first.

Torre: I didn't know you were such a poet. I am Russ, one left lonely at first.

Martin: Poet?

Torre: Was that a haiku? I heard about those things from Saito.

Martin: Haiku? Saito???

Torre: Or is that one of those reggae things? Can't say you look black.

Martin: Wait! Kent says I look black?!?!

Torre: Can't say you do.

Martin: Why did Kent say that?

Torre: Why did who say what?

Martin: Hu didn't say anything to me.

Torre: I just said something to you.

Martin: Uh, yes you did.

Torre: So, are you going to play third? I'll bring Bennett in to catch in Nomar's spot.

Martin: That works. Hu's batting next.

Torre: Who's up to hit next?

Martin: Yes.

Torre: No, I mean, who is up next?

Martin: Of course he is.

Torre: Wait, who's batting?

Martin: Hu.

Torre: The batter?

Martin: The batter is Hu.

Torre: That's what I'm asking you.

Martin: Hu.

Torre: You!

Martin: No, Hu.

Torre: Listen, Russ, either play third base, or else.

Martin: Great idea! Ethier's in right.

Torre: Who's in right?

Martin: No, coach. Hu's at second but Ethier's right.

Torre: You bet I'm right.

Martin: Ok coach, I give up, I'll go play third.

Torre: Good. Can't wait.

Martin: Kent's not in the dugout coach. Icing his knees.

Torre: Who's icing their knees?

Martin: Hu... Ok, ok, I'm getting out there.

Torre: Finally!

Martin: Can't take no more!

Torre: I already told you. Nomar's not going anywhere.