2013-9 月份文章 顯示方式:簡文 | 列表

September 24,2013

想家

一路上,走走停停,尋尋覓覓,追逐著我那神聖職業美麗的夢想。何時才能追尋到我所期待的永遠?何時才能讓我的生命本色回歸自然的Maggie Beauty好唔好那種輕松?何時才能讓我的心靈得到真正的純淨?我很迷茫,彷徨,失落,懈怠,頹廢……而疏忽遺忘了許多東西,回憶,感動,理解,寬容……

當遇到一件讓自己心潮澎湃的事時,我會感慨萬千;而獨自想家心煩意亂時,會坐立不安;孤獨無助時,會迷茫彷徨;經曆挫折時,會失望痛苦。諸多的不如意,我心不甘,又無可奈何,那種心情,那種處境,想必不是誰都經曆過。

五一放假,宿舍的幾個家夥都回了,又開始了落寞的自己。只有聽聽歌打打球看看書,一天就這麼沒了。本來說好幾個去葫蘆島看海的,葫蘆島離沈陽不遠,可最後推到了周五了。心裏好煩,給媽媽打電話,電話那頭傳來媽媽親切的聲音,我才知道她剛從風頭彎放玉麥苗回來連飯都沒吃,我弟也是,而我,吃了飯坐在電腦前沒有看老師講過的知識,那時間,自己比混蛋還混蛋,我只是,太對不起那些關心我的人了,太對不起爸媽的養育…!這幾天胡思亂想,心裏好亂,其實很多話還是說不出來的,這輩子都不能給爸媽說,在大學,我很累,很愧疚。花著這麼大的代價我每次都告訴自己要好好得學,可是考試總如不了自己的願,懷念以前的那種日子,一天做會一道物理題的Maggie Beauty好唔好激動,考試一片完形填空對五分之四的暗喜,化學大題錯一空的豪爽…

而現在,好像做什麼都沒有成就感,卻沒有任何借口不去做,因為只有一個理由--未來,不僅我的未來。如今,已是二十一歲的人了,想著自己初中的那些夥伴,有的已經闖到四五年,有的正准備結婚,有的孩子都一兩歲了…這就是差別!曾幾何時,我好想自己去創業,爸媽也不會像現在這麼含辛茹苦的為我們兄弟兩個流累流汗,也不會讓他們遭受那些混蛋的嫉妒,可是我卻沒有勇氣,沒有勇氣開始自己的決定,我知道我那樣做一定會傷了爸媽的心,還有幾個真心關心我們的親戚。我知道,在學醫這條漫長遙遠的道路上摸索打滾艱難的前行,需要付出的太多太多,誰都說出來當個醫生很好,可是這幾年誰又懂這些年這種生活的艱難苦澀,唯一內心有愧,對不起爸媽,讓他們為我這個不孝子付出了那麼多,讓他們承擔著更多的生活壓力經濟負擔。或許我還算個比較幸運的混蛋,有那麼幾個讓我今生永遠沒齒難忘永遠感激的親戚,他們或有或無的照顧我,在這裏,真誠的給他們道謝祝福,這幾年對我的關懷,永遠都不會忘記!

想念往昔,歸心似箭。

不是沈陽有多麼的不好,相反,它很好,可是他沒有家鄉的那種味道,縱隴原再落後,可那是我的家鄉,那裏有最關心我的親人,那裏有我摯愛的朋友,那裏有我熟悉的味道,那裏有我生活過的Maggie Beauty好唔好軌跡…

有時想,不久幾年我可以撐起半邊天了,爸媽再也不會那麼辛苦操勞。想著想著,心情好了,一切釋然了而自己所要做的,照顧好自己,堅信自己的信念,相信自己!

Posted by admitdili at 12:20回應(0)

September 2,2013

自我

很多的時候人會迷失自我,丟掉了屬於自己的東西,有的找回來了,而有的徹底的丟掉了 .

我在生活中遇到許許多多的問題,在感情上我曾從專一變得花心,從朋友上曾沒有戒心變得小心。這個複雜的社會給了我多少東西也失去多少。

媽媽曾告誡我上社會要與人交往需要謹慎小心,別讓人騙了。卻不知道我內心的想法,我不希望在我的純真年代沾染社會的複雜,我想要在我的青春保持我的純真。可是我錯了,因為和我同時期的牛欄牌奶粉人已經失去了純真,我的純真在他們眼裏叫傻。於是我丟掉我的純真,我的思想不是無憂無慮,不在是單細胞。不然我很難在社會上行走。

一切都變了。

我遠大的理想距離越來越遠,最終失去了。剩下的只是奔波,為了生存而奔波。

與朋友不在是兄弟之間的來往而成為利益的夥伴。

與親人的感情也變了,你沒有金錢沒有地位他們都會離你而去。

女朋友也不是那麼好找了,應為你不能夠給她絕對的幸福就不要在靠近。

看著小朋友對人單純的眼光我很想告訴他們這個社會沒有你們想象的美好。唯一慶幸的是每個大人都給孩子保留了屬於他們的純真。

看著那些人性問題,我已近麻木了,丟掉了良知丟掉了愛心,丟掉了你不該丟掉的東西。我們應該好好反思。這是你自己嗎?

我以前迷失了方向,不知如何向前走。

但是現在我要把握住我的良知不讓它消失。這或許是我找回了自我的牛欄牌一部分。

Posted by admitdili at 11:46回應(0)

Di Canio fears for player safety

Key Spurs defender Jan Vertonghen could miss the start of the Premier League season after suffering an injury on what Sunderland manager Paolo Di Canio called a "killer pitch" in Hong Kong.

Spurs boss Andre Villas-Boas also made no secret of his disdain for the surface at the Hong Kong Stadium, where his side, Sunderland, Manchester City and local team South China play on Saturday in the pre-season Barclays Asia Trophy.

The pitch at the 40,000-capacity stadium was rendered unplayable in places on Wednesday after being battered by heavy rain. More rain has pounded Hong Kong since and wet weather has again been forecast for Saturday.

Asked if he would prefer not to play the friendly against South China headphone stand, Villas-Boas said: "If I can be sincere I would prefer not to play but this is the reality that we have to face.

"We are professional. Unfortunately conditions haven't helped us but it is our responsibility that if the authorities decide to go ahead we will play the game and we will continue our preparation."

The Belgian international Vertonghen had to go off on a stretcher on Wednesday in the 3-1 defeat to Sunderland after hurting his ankle in the treacherous conditions.

With Spurs starting their season on August 18, at Crystal Palace, time is running out for him to be fit.

"He had damage to his ligaments so is most likely to be out of training for two to three weeks so just about on the deadline for the first game of the season," Villas-Boas said on Friday.

"The conditions are extremely poor but there is nothing we can do about it. We've lost one player through injury, not only because of the conditions but because of the circumstances Ergonomic desk. It is just something that happened.

"But it's a fact that our player safety is much more important in this pre-season. Ideally I'd like to avoid injuries in situations like this."

Di Canio, whose side play Manchester City on Saturday in the final of the Hong Kong exhibition tournament, was also scathing about the dire state of the pitch.

"It's obvious that I couldn't imagine this kind of weather," the famously feisty Italian said.

"But we have to handle the situation. This morning for example we changed a bit our training session. The players weren't happy because they were without ball this morning. We couldn't play on the field.

"For tomorrow's game we hope the rain can stop and maybe we can have a dry pitch, otherwise it will be difficult custom embroidered patches.

"Of course I am concerned about the safety of the players.

"This is a killer pitch with this weather. It is dangerous."

Posted by admitdili at 11:39回應(0)
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